Confessions of an Enlightened Soul – How I Changed
Tears are more powerful than our brain imagines them to be. Subhan Allah! When shed in front of the Creator out of shame and repentance it not only brings you closer to your Rabb but also makes your Imaan grow strong. He can turn our hearts upside down within no time with His Mercy and Fazl despite years and years of sinning. It’s just a matter of eagerness and tears.
I had such moments in my life where Allah SWT would as if open the doors of guidance and tell that ‘O my beloved servant! This is the sin you were doing so make true taubah, repent and I shall give you my love out of my Mercy.’ And when the realization sets in, sins seem like this huge mountain on your shoulder that needs to be removed as soon as possible. I used to cry a lot in salah, outside salah behind closed door in dark nights when it’s just you and your Rabb.
So ask Him SWT and he will grant you!
My relationship grew stronger and my Rabb never left me Subhan Allah neither when I sinned nor when I was on my path towards Him SWT. When you strive in His path things start falling into place themselves, don’t they? My relationship with Quran grew stronger. I would have a question and I would find my answers in it. My Rabb All Listening and Guiding! And gradually everything happening in life started to make sense. And in the end it does make sense why you went through everything. Because your Lord wants good for you. The relationship had more meaning. The Sujood now had more meaning; the Hijaab had more meaning…
Ya Allah! We often forget Your mercy on us when it first came to us until it became a constant within us yet you Ya Rabb make us of the shakireen. Ameen. By His SWT’s Fazl and Karam He SWT opened sources that would draw this worthless closer to Him SWT, company of His SWT’s beloveds who would remind of Him SWT and venues of acquiring the ilm of deen Alhumdulillah. No matter how hard I try to convey what my experience was, trust me it can only be felt. It was a spiritual breakthrough I needed and Alhumdulillah! I had my moments of realization. For questions I had argued once now had answers that came from within.
And not to forget that tests will definitely come your way in the form of very people you thought were your own and very things that you thought won’t deceive you only to realize that the true reality of this life is from Allah SWT, for Allah SWT and to Allah SWT.
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