TREAT YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW RIGHT!
A daughter in law is like any other human being, originated from THAT same clay. She has a heart and mind, a psychology and a physiology just like any other person. She owns desires and a need to be respected. Leaving her birthplace, parents and family to begin a new life is no easy task. A new life brings challenges and compromises and she is brave enough to adapt and settle herself to all of it. She is supposed to be an honor for your son and the family!
Dealing with issues after marriage in the light of Islam
Dear mother in law! She is not a 24/7 free service vouchsafed to you for life. Allah has granted her rights and privileges. She is a pillow of emotions, just like once you were when you first became someone else’s daughter in law. You wanted her to treat you humanely too, you needed appreciation and nurturing too, you yearned for love and respect too. That’s not what it was like?
Dear mother in law! Remember those backbreaking endless visits for that “ideal daughter in law” search spree? All you required was a perfect match for your gem of a son! A match who is well educated, white as a swan, tall, a beauty impinged with graceful demeanor, blended with a passion to cook and bake.
Wow! And you even found her! You loved her then didn’t you? But soon after she stepped into you domain, it flickered intense emotions of dislike, insecurity and competition as if she were here to invade your realm or take away your authority. So what you did was you started burdening her, oppressing her physically and mentally. You never ceased to disgrace her. Do you even know that by doing this you ruin the honor of your son and family?
- She’s a newbie, a beginner in practical life. Wouldn’t it be better to let go of those petty little mistakes she makes? Wouldn’t it be nice if you rather guide her in household chores and management?
- Wouldn’t it be humane for you to treat her like your own daughter and try to fix her than to break her by constant bickering, slandering and taunts? Instead of negative manipulation and playing sympathy cards wouldn’t it be a wiser tactic to simply embrace her and accept her for who she is? And WITH kindness.
- Dear mother in law! Have you ever spoken about the misdeeds and flaws, lapses and lacking of your own daughter to anyone else?
- Have you ever scandalized about how she can’t cook well or make round ‘roti’?
- Never! Instead you have always covered for her, defended her. But this daughter (that law has granted you) is like a second rated citizen, imperfect and inferior, so you disgrace her. How justified is this?
She was entrusted to your son by her parents after signing a contract of marriage that holds a paramount significance. Please! Respect this responsibility. If you can’t be a mother, act like one. Put some effort so that you are equally honored.