Wife; a sincere friend
The bond between husband and wife is deep and fragile at the same moment. The delicacy of this relation could be viewed as:
- A petal of flower, soft and beautiful.
- A spider web, require efforts for creating it, still breakable.
- Years long relationship; strong but take seconds to end.
Divorce; a curse
What is divorce? It is a punishment for men, a decision taken while temporary angry and a lifelong regret. These 3 dreadful words are stronger than sharp knives and hurtful than bullets. Divorce ends the martial relationship forever, all the care, efforts and love of wife goes in vein.
Nothing could be done to reverse it. Everyone goes in depression husband, wife and their kids.
Think before you speak
After you divorce your wife nothing could be done. Consequences faced are many:
- Destroyed family.
- Sobbing and screams inside the house.
- Disturbance for both the families.
- Nothing could be done to bring them back together.
- Society will mock the woman who gets divorced.
- Children can’t concentrate on studies.
This is why husband have to think twice before rage controls him. Fool is a man who thinks that his old and stronger relation won’t be effected by divorce. Even if he divorces his wife nothing will go wrong. Keep in mind
divorce is not a joke.
Even if the relation is many year old still it is sensitive because divorce creates stretching negative impact on the lives of both. When a woman gets divorced after sometimes of marriage, she won’t have kids, so they won’t suffer, but when she gets divorced after many years of marriage her children will suffer with her, in fact they suffer more. They enter in to a battlefield at one side their father on the other side their mother. They just can’t choose to stay with any one, they can’t leave them both.
According to William Shatner:
Divorce is probably as painful as death
Anyhow! If an elderly person could become Muslim by reciting Holy Qalma, similarly a woman is not your wife after divorce no matter how old and strong your relation was. Now she is a complete stranger for you.
Looking from a different perspective this relations has got more depth than any other relation. Efforts done by a wife do to make you happy can’t be done by any other person.
The more you spent time together these things are likely to happen:
- The more affectionate you both will become.
- The more she will do for you and for your family, whole heartedly.
- The depth of your relation will be achieved, based on trust and sheer love.
Stated by Hadrat Molana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Rehmat-ullah-Aleeh, in one of his speech:
Once a listener complaint to Molana Fazl-ul-Rehman Ganj Muradabadi Rehmat-ullah-Aleeh,
oh pious one! Your speech doesn’t hold enthusiasm like before.
He said, haven’t you heard,
“older relations become motherly.”
Subhan’Allah! What a strange example, but his extract deliver the right message, this relation holds psychological bliss rather than physical. If affection doesn’t last in relation then this love last only few year not for eternity.
If there is love and understanding in a relation it clearly lasts longer. Same goes for words, enthusiasm might shrink but feel takes flight.
“Old relations become motherly”
from this quote, we remember an apologue. There was a richly person from Kabul. People came to condole on his wife’s death, one person said, Oh poor you! We are deeply grieved to hear this loss of yours.
“She wasn’t my wife, she was my mother, she made me food, served me and clamped my body.”
True that! An older person’s wife is mother to him, because now they are to fulfill their psychological needs besides physical one.
Old love doesn’t rust, it becomes pure
“At this point of life, love is clean and selfless.”
(taqleel ataam, page 25).
Lessons from past
Once an old man decided to get married for the second time. His first had passed away. His daughters and daughters-in-law went furious over his decision, giving him typical taunts regarding age. “He must praise Allah, now he’s thinking of wedding bells, instead of death dreams. We are here for him, to serve him, so why does he needs to get hitched up?” he didn’t give ear to any of these opinions and got married.
After some days that same old person got sick, vomiting, diarrhea and loose motions. Relatives who were against his marriage and were willing to take care of his health, weren’t even willing to come near him. But his wife would, she would do all his work, cleaning his mess and taking care of his medicines.
Now that old man got an opportunity to say sarcastically, “This is why you were against my marriage to throw me away in a corner for me to fight with my illness alone, and die? None of you came to ask about me”
Anyways! Now let us see that for how long her wife will support him. A wife will be with her man through thick and thin, but the question arises, how will you treat her?
Wives are not servant
Normally it is observed that men treat their wives like servant. To prove themselves right they may recite Surah Al-Nisa, Verse 34 (translation),
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.”
According to explanation, women are subordinates of their men, now a subordinate are your kids too, servants, housekeeping staff, driver and watchman. That doesn’t mean that women are equivalent to a slave and you’ll make her work 24/7. She is a subordinate in your lifetime journey of love and companionship. Treating her like ordinary people and servants is not at all a deed to be appreciated.
Some flirty men, consider wives are to work while girlfriends to lure them. Wives are just for raising kids and cooking food. Whereas girlfriends are for entertainment. A wife can do all things to make her man happy in a Halal way that girlfriends cannot. This could only be done when you consider your wife, more than that, consider her a loyal friend and she can make your life a living heaven.
May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!DISCLAIMER: The articles and views posted on this blog are the opinions of individual authors only and as such may not reflect the opinions of Pious Couple staff, editors and readers. They are solely meant for educational purposes and not any illegal purpose. The authors/shuyookh are not responsible or liable for the intentional, reckless, or negligent actions of any individual. Any person who posts, quotes, cites, copies or otherwise relies on any article or comment associated in any way with Pious Couple blog bears sole responsibility for his or her actions, choices and words. While constructive criticism and meaningful discussions are welcome; abusive comments, name calling or intolerance towards other religions, race, sex, countries, etc., will not be entertained. Pious Couple reserves all rights to delete/edit any type of comment or discussion that is inappropriate Islamically, morally or otherwise.