Leave Colorful Finger Prints of Your Life;
As They Don’t Fade Away From the Lives We Touched
The day began with all kinds of noise, pouring in my ears from every corner of the house as if it was a fish market, instead a house, where wedding was going to be held. I was thinking why so much noise, getting a peaceful sleep at this time seemed impossible. I screamed from my room, “PLEASE BE QUIET”. Kept pillows & cushions on my ears to lessen the sound, but no use. Then, I decided, that today, I will go out and tell mom and dad that I want peace.
As I stepped out my paternal aunt said, “Darling why did you wake up, you need to sleep, otherwise you will look dull and will have eye bags too.”
These words were like a needle piercing my ears. After making loud noises and then expecting me to sleep. I replied, “Oh no aunty, I felt like having breakfast with all of you as I have few days left, so wanted to make the most out of it.
“Oh my love! I love you”, hug and kisses showered on me.
As I walked at the breakfast table, I saw Dad and all other family members, having breakfast. I couldn’t see only one person present on the table, that was my mum. I asked, where mom is.
My dad said, “What happened no salam & greetings to anyone?” I said, oh yes I forgot and greeted everyone loudly.
Then my aunt said, “come have breakfast and then go back to sleep.” I was like, I want to talk to mum. My dad said, she is preparing breakfast for all of us. These words from my dad made me more aggressive, that steam would be out of my ears. As I recollected, last night, she was doing the same; serving all the relatives and today morning she is again working tirelessly, without acknowledgement.
I walked in the kitchen and saw that she was telling the cooks to make a variety of breakfast for everyone while sneezing 10 times in a row.
I yelled, “MOM”.
She was surprised, and walked towards me in concern and asked, “Are you feeling fine?”; touching my forehead.
I said, “YES, I am fine.”
Then she asked, “Why are you up so early? You slept quiet late, you need to catch up on your sleep.”
I replied, “Don’t you think you need rest and sleep too. Your sinus has triggered and you are standing in the kitchen like a head cook to cater everyone’s needs.”
Mom satisfied me, “Chill Dear! Sit on the table, I will myself make an omelet for you.”
I refused and inquired, “What are you having for the breakfast?”
She replied, “So many things are being made, I will have something.”
I said, “I feel like banging my head because when will you learn to think about yourself. It’s not about breakfast or any petty thing, it’s about your presence, choice and desire. Why you do this to yourself? I grew up watching you doing everything for others but never for yourself. Is this you want me to do also in future? Intentionally or unintentionally, I will be expected to do the same from my in-laws. If I am not going to be like you, they will complain you and dad about me. What will I do then? listen to your lecture to live like an unacknowledged person?”
Mom hugged me while ordering the maids to serve the breakfast on the table.
I moved back, “Something must be enough.” And walked towards my room.
Dad called me to have breakfast. I replied, “When there is no chair for mum on the table then how can there be a chair for me so I better sleep.”
Upon hearing this everyone sitting on the table was stoned. Instantly, dad called my mum. She came out of the kitchen and smilingly said, “I am getting the rest of the things ready.” Upon hearing this reply from her, everyone felt normal, except my dad! He sat there because he was the host, but within him something had shaken. He just sipped his coffee and ate nothing, whereas, mum was busy serving food and asking if anyone wants anything else.
After the breakfast, mom came in my room. She saw my pillow wet with tears and eyes swollen. She hugged me tight and we both wept. My dad crossing by my room heard us weeping. He didn’t make an effort to enter but chose to stay out, and listened to us.
My mom said, “Your dad is an amazing person. He is a perfect combination of looks, brains and status, which a women desires for, and has always been obedient, caring, loving and down to earth towards every relation in his life, he never expected anything for himself from any relation. But when he married me, it was my duty to make him feel like a king; who also needs to be loved, cared, and pampered.
He also needed obedience from someone he loved. I gave him all of it and never regretted. That is the reason all daughters feel like princesses as if their dads are kings. The reason I can do all this easily, is because I was a princesses in my dad’s house. My parents showered me with love, care and importance. They always kept my wishes and desires on their priority list. My consent on every issue was regarded with respect and love. This upbringing taught me how to give so, what I learnt I practiced it in my life, and here I am, getting my daughter married to a complete man too.”
“But mom, dad doesn’t miss your presence, he takes you for granted, when he needs your assistance only then he thinks about you.”
“Dear, life is like this. Your dad cannot live a second without me, but he tries to manage a bit on his own and when he cannot, he seeks my help. Darling rule of life is give and take. He gave me everything, if he lacks somewhere then its fine, no one and nothing is meant to be perfect! Do you know why Allah SWT created women from the ribs of a man? He did not create from his head to top him, not from his feet to be stepped upon, she was created from his side to be close to him, from beneath his arm to be protected by him, near his heart to be loved by him.”
“Mom, but I am not going to be like you.”
“Its fine dear you shouldn’t be. We are two separate persons. Live your life in a way that is best for you both. Life and relationships is always tailor made; no fixed sizes. We can try a fixed size but satisfaction will not be attained.”
She hugged me again, “Now I think you need a glass of juice and cucumbers for your eyes and good sleep.”
As mom walked out of the room she saw dad standing with tears in his eyes. She inquired if he was feeling fine. I could hear mom and dad talk, so I also walked the door. Dad looked upset.
I asked, “What happened to you.”
He calmed me down, “Nothing, just the thought that you going to leave us is making me feel upset.”
Relationships are like finger prints
He hugged me and mom and said, “Never forget, Relationships are like finger prints, all are different and all are beautiful! I love you all very much but at times, it feels difficult to express, because I am a COMPLETE MAN…!
Then dad looked at mom and said, “Today, I understood the meaning of this ayat:
“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them” (Noble Quran 2:187).
Indeed, the first relation created by Allah SWT was of husband and wife, all other relations came later. This relation is the first step for fulfillment and connection with other relationships. May Allah guide us to the righteous path to maintain the dignity and pride of our married relationships.
May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!
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