Peace of Mind – Real Aim of Marital Life
The objective of marital life, for both men and women, is to gain harmony of hearts and peace of mind. This is only possible if both allies accept the rights of each other otherwise tranquility of house will be damaged due to depriving one of his/her rights.
Usual Rights of People:
One way to make sure that the couple does not violate each other’s rights is;
- To make laws and pass judicial orders as it is practiced in the case of other usual rights of people over one another.
- Defying of one’s rights declared as Haram, and announcement of serious warning and punishments
- People are asked to be sympathetic and sacrificing
But experience tells us that no society can be bounded to be moderate by law only, unless they fear Allah. That is why, along with Sharia, Quran repeatedly uses the words like, “Fear Your Lord” and “Fear the day of Judgment” etc.
But the mutual rights of men and women are so complicated that no law can describe their rights comprehensively and no court can give them justice.
Sermon of Nikah by Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him)
While preaching the sermon of Nikah, Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him) selected below ayyat of the Holy Quran, which advice to adopt piousness, fear Allah Almighty, and apprehension of the Dooms day, because only these can ensure the fulfillment of mutual rights of the couple.
“Another of His signs is that He created mates of your own kind of yourselves so that you may get peace of mind from them, and has put love and compassion between you. Verily there are signs in this for those who reflect.”
(Al-Quran, Surah Ar-Rum, Aayat 21)
Marital Physical & Psychological Rights – Love & Compassion
From the above aayat, we can clearly see that Allah has given us another blessing and He created the marital rights not only as they are described by law, but also physical and psychological. This is same as parents have some rights over their children and vice versa. Allah has bestowed the parents as well as the children with deep love for each other; likewise the partners are showered with the same affection among themselves. Allah creates LOVE and SYMPATHY among the couple. LOVE may cover the attractive affection the couple experience while they are young and SYMPATHY depicts the kindness and solicitude which prevails them when they grow old.
Signs for those who ponder
In the last part of above aayat of Surah Ar-Rum, Allah indicates that besides peace of mind there are (many) manifestations in creating your spouse and putting love in their hearts for each other, which will only be revealed on those who ponder upon the positive aspects of matrimonial life.
Silent Message for Parents-in-Law
From the above ayaat, one came to know that purpose to bless us with mate is to give physical relaxation and psychological peace of mind.
Joint Family System:
If you, as parents-in-law, think that in the atmosphere where your daughter-in-law has to face day to day disputes with her sisters-in-law and wives of Brothers-in-law, she can fulfill her duty to maintain tranquility and provide peace of mind to your son then you may keep the couple with you in the joint family. Otherwise, as a suggestion, you have to make some arrangements to separate the couple, so that they can enjoy their personal life. In our point of view, the daughter-in-law can happily live with her parents-in-law, and it is also very common as well, but the presence and conflicts with other women at home may disturb her and so how can she give peace when herself disturbed. Decision is up to you!
May Allah Almighty, guide us to take the right decision and act upon that! Ameen.
May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!
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