Family’s Involvement – Leading to Divorce
Unfortunately, more and more couples are resorting to divorce because of family’s involvement in their marital affairs. In some cultures, mothers and sisters think, that they have the right to meddle in their brother’s marriage. They think they have the right to offer unwanted opinions and criticize over the littlest things, usually directed at their brother’s wife. But the blame does not solely lie with them; the husband should be able to differentiate between well meant advice and intruding.
But then, on the other hand, there are times where the wife’s family is interfering as well. At the end of the day, a marriage is between a husband and a wife, what happens behind closed doors, should stay behind the closed doors. Some women go running back to their mothers or sisters and complain about the slightest thing that had happened with them at their in-laws; that is just completely wrong. A married couple should never confide to others about their spouse’s shortcomings.
“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.”
(Al-Quran Surah Bakarah, Verse No. 187)
Divorce is a serious step to take because once taken it cannot be undone. If you feel your mother-in-law or sister-in-law is overstepping the boundaries speak to them about it. Ask the whole family for a meeting and discuss your reservations and listen to them as well. Instead of letting things simmer and come to a boil where divorce looks like the best option, just talk to it out.
There are some husbands that will take their mothers or sisters side even if they are wrong and would not support their wives at all. Remember, your wife has left her family to come to yours – respect her, by listening to her objections too. She is not just your wife – she is a mother, a daughter and a sister too. Respect each other, talk to each other and most of all don’t let others interfere adversely in your marriage because after all a marriage is between a husband and a wife.
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May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!
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If a man’s sister chose his wife for him and his family of approved her, is it possible the family could interfere in their marriage and cause conflict so as the wife will consider divorce ?
Unfortunately, the content of this article and this mornings article contradicts with the teachings of Islam. This mornings article discussed about living and adjusting at the in laws place and now it’s discussing on avoiding meddling by outsiders in a marriage. Islam does not promote living in a so called big joint family so everyone is in everyone’s hair. Just because it’s the norm in South Asia doesn’t make it Islam. Islam knows there will be issues with meddling when everyone lives together hence advises that you lead separate lives and manage separate independent households
My husband family are forcing us to break our marriage as they don’t like me and I’ve tried speaking with them also my husband doesn’t say anything to his family when they abuse me and shout at me for no reason. His family are trying to control my marriage. It’s like I married my husband family not my husband.. please help..
stay strong have faith and doa’ in sha allah everything will be ok i feel what you feel but the difference is im the husband and my wife just cant different her husband (me) and her family. Ive tried to give everything but she only can see the bad side of me and thats sad
Unfortunately very few men understand that he and his wife are a team. It’s heartbreaking to see such scenario where a husband blindly believes his mother in our community.