6 Strategies to Explicate Wife
In this article, we will share six techniques to elucidate something to your wife softly; try to practice them, may Allah give us the ability to follow them. Ameen.
-
Leave Time Between Two Prayers
- Avoid taking any instant action if your parents, sisters, your brother’s wives or any other tell you your wife’s faults, no matter how big it is.
- Do not say anything to her immediately, at least wait for the time between two Prayers. (For example, if an incident occurs at Zohar time, wait till Maghrib, and if it happens at Maghrib then wait till Fajar). After this much gap of time, talk to her and if she is really mistaken, then you should explain her.
You will feel a positive change in your home, while acting upon this technique. Your words will be respected, your wife will value you, you will be appreciated for your intellect and forbearance and she will act upon your advice as well.
-
Accept Excuses
- If your sister told you that at a particular occasion your wife has this discourse with that relative, which indicates our complaint, then you should not take prompt action, neither should start arguing with your wife, instead act smartly. Firstly, ponder upon if it is really as serious as told by my sister. If issue is not important then put off it, and if it is of significant importance then adopt a usual way to explicate your companion.
- Scholars have written that,
“If your brother or wife etc., makes a mistake, create seventy justifications for that and explain them to your heart that they have this much reasons. If your heart still does not accept that, then instead of them, blame your heart that you are so rigid & Inflexible that your brother or wife is giving you seventy excuses and you are not accepting them”.
Wife Has the Right to Sulk A Little Bit
- That is why, there is Hadees of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him);
“If an excuse is put in front of a person and he does not accept that, then he is considered as much sinful as the one who receives illegal tax from people.” (Mashkawat: Vol. 2, Pg. 429)
- Remember, it was a pious habit of Prophet (peace be upon him) that if there is a particular short coming in a group of people or nation, He do not pronounce them by their name, instead state that,
“What happen to people that they behave such” (Abu Dawood: Vol. 2, Pg. 304)
- Therefore, we should also practice the illuminated procedures of Prophet (Peace be upon him) and should not embarrass the wife directly, and explain her latter on keeping in view the circumstances. For example,
Dear Zulaikha, you know some women are in a bad habit of;
- Telling ones secrets to others
- Complain about the in laws indirectly
Above is a quite unreasonable act, and I do not like the women who do this, so you should refrain yourself from this. It is absolutely stupid to disclose ones family issues to others; my dear, I trust you; you would not do the same, etc.
-
Dig Out Root Cause
- Third strategy is that if you receive four or more complaints of your wife, or you yourself feel something troublesome, then do not explicate on them separately, instead, speculate the cause of all of them, and try to eradicate that. May Allah guide us all in finding the correct reasons.
WHY IS NIKAH NECESSARY FOR A WIDOW
-
Avoid Repeating Faults
- Fourth technique is not to recall previous mistakes while you are explicating; in fact this is a habit of women of weak faith, so man should not repeat something already discussed.
- Remember! If you do not forget the past affairs, and keep shaking your wife’s mind, reminding her of every small flaw and blunders, then it is unfair not only with her but it is ruthlessness with your own self and kids as well. May Allah protect us all. Ameen
-
Choice of Appropriate Time and Place
- Fifth rule is to take care of time and place, so that surroundings are appropriate when you are explicating your wife; this is to ensure that you get your desired results and situation would not go worse.
- At times, if elucidation is given on proper time then she may admit even that which is not her fault, and conversely, because of inappropriate timing she may get stubborn in spite of her mistake, and this lead the conversation in a wrong direction
10 Pearls from a Mother to her Newly Wed Daughter
-
Teaching in Isolation
- Sixth approach is not to explain her anything in front of anyone; never insult her in the presence of others.
- Also, do not give examples of other women, while you explicate her something in isolation. E.g. never say that one of my friend’s wife is very intelligent and you…, see how my brother’s wife live happily with the family and you…, observe my sister how she is upbringing her children and you…! Improvements cannot be made by implementing this style. To ensure betterment you should adopt softness, love, advice, forbearance, compassion, goodwill, tenderness and sympathy and must hold back harsh words, viciousness and abusiveness.
While practicing all these techniques, one should also ask Allah for forgiveness, because at times it is the consequence of our sins that the wife behaves disobedient. Also, one should sincerely pray for betterments in his wife. May Allah develop love, affection and compatibility between all Muslim couples. Ameen.
We hope this article helped you. If you liked this article , then please subscribe us on Twitter , Facebook , Pinterest and Instagram.