TIPS TO MAINTAIN AND RESTORE INTIMACY IN A MARRIAGE

 

Marriage is a very sacred relationship for Muslims by command of Allah. We Muslims are given orders by Allah Almighty to keep the sanctity of this relationship and keep your spouse happy. There are a lot of factors in a marriage which both the partners need to work on to make their marriage a happy marriage.

INTIMACY

Intimacy is one of the major things to maintain if you want your marriage to work. In order to know how to keep intimacy alive, we need to know what intimacy is.

Intimacy is basically closeness and attachment between two people. Relationships which are intimate need to have emotional and physical closeness in between them. It can be any kind of needs that need to be fulfilled either emotional, physical or psychological.

RETRIEVING AND MAINTAINING INTIMACY

A marriage can never work if a couple lacks intimacy. Within two people there are many kinds of needs that are to be fulfilled and both the people in a couple need to work on them. If a person keeps hurting his partner, the feelings and emotions no longer stay favorable for two people. Basic thing that contributes to a marriage is the building and foundation of love.

Islam has provided complete ways to look through each other’s rights and responsibilities. The basic unit is love which holds the whole pillar together. But the building of love starts with a lot of other factors which need to be maintained. Here are the factors which can strengthen the relationship and maintain intimacy among each other.

1. FAITH

The first thing to keep the binding strong is faith and belief. If a couple lacks faith between them, they can never open up to each other thus many things remain unsaid and undone. If a couple has a strong feeling of faith between them the couple there will be effective communication between them and that leads to strong intimacy. Love can only be restored by having complete faith in your spouse.

2. RIGHT OF OPINION

It is human nature that people who live together can disagree on a lot of things and have a variety of opinions. Keeping up with the other person’s opinion matters a lot in a marriage. If one person has a different opinion then the other one it’s important for the other one to understand and not argue. Give value to their opinion and make sure to find a way where both people agree and no one thinks less of the other one.

3. FORGIVENESS

Being a Muslim Allah SWT has already put a lot of emphasis on forgiving the other fellow Muslim irrespective of the relationship. Allah likes the people who forgive other people and let go of the things.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked his companions:

“Do you wish that Allah should forgive you?”

They replied ‘of course, O Prophet of Allah.’ Then Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said

‘Then forgive each other.”

Its important for both the partners to have the courage to ask for forgiveness and that only comes with realization. Don’t be too proud to ask for forgiveness and once the other person has asked for forgiveness take the minimum time to grant forgiveness so Allah SWT can also forgive you. Don’t think that asking for forgiveness or granting forgiveness would in any way make you any less of a person. It will only bring happiness and strengthen the bond.

4. FRIENDSHIP

For a person to give his or her spouse complete space and understanding, it’s important to build friendship among the two of you. Friendship demands love, faith, trust, honor and respect for each other. It all leads to a happy marriage and the couple lasts happily forever. Be as open to your spouse as you are to your friends. Give them the right to ask or share anything with you and make sure you do the same.

5. OPENNESS

Marital relationship is the one in which the freedom of opinion and the right of presenting that opinion is very important. If there is no hideousness and formality your spouse can tell you everything clearly leaving behind all the confusions and doubts. Whatever the needs are its important for you to convey them clearly to your spouse and have no barriers of communication. When couples hide things from each other their relationship becomes weak and lacks intimacy and love. So try to convey everything in out and open.

6. UNCONDITIONAL GIVING

Marriage is based on the phenomenon of giving and receiving. You need to give everything to your spouse and make sure they return you everything too. Allah SWT has ordered to fulfil all the physical and emotional needs of your spouse without them asking you. You need to figure out what are the problems and make sure you decrease all the problem causing factors. Love needs no conditions and stipulations. Selfless deeds will always be a matter to increase love and intimacy.

7. FLATTERING

Passing compliments to each other and making each other feel good is a very important step in making a marriage work. Small compliments can make your partner’s day. Try to give as many compliments as you can and encourage them by doing this. Appreciation would never deprive you of anything, in fact it will make everything better and improve your relationship.

8. FEELINGS

An intimate relationship is the one in which the feelings remain alive. If one constantly hurt others’ feelings the love and intimacy gradually ends. It’s very important to take care of your partner’s feelings. Always be gentle and kind to each other. Don’t push things and don’t force your spouse for anything. If one of you wants something the other person can’t give, don’t force them and try to figure out a way out. Harsh words and unkind gestures will only make your spouse drift away from you so make sure to do no such thing. Keeping your spouse happy will make Allah SWT happy. So make maximum effort to keep everything among each other balanced. It will lead you both to Jannah.

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