Sometimes witless husbands pass negative remarks on their in-laws, usually believing hearsay’s without any investigation. They taunt their wives targeting their parents, sibling or other relatives. Now the reaction of the wife against it will be too obvious as every girl or woman loves her family. Therefore, for the sake of their love and honor, the reaction is usually in the form of conversational attacks targeting her husband or his relatives in return which becomes an issue that affects their married life and definitely spoils the charm and peace of this beautiful relation.
For that reason, it has been concluded that wives are needed to show wisdom and patience in return. Instead of defending her family and attacking the respect and dignity of her in-laws recklessly, a wife should just ask her husband to excuse them if he has been hurt and say that
“I am apologizing on behalf of my family and I will talk to them about the concerned matter so forgive them by heart. In my opinion whether they are on mistake or not, it is their personal matter. Why should we interfere and spoil our married life?”
Charity – the ultimate act of virtue
Tell him gently that if we start arguing on this matter it will only stretch the problem and aggravate the situation rather than resolving it. Hence the bone of contention should be handled in an appropriate way in order to prevent an entire generation of new problems from arising.
In connection to the preceding theme, an example of a role model lady from the Islamic history demonstrates a perfect response to such situations.
One day Khalid Bin Yazeed RA said harsh words against his brother in-law in front of a relative. His wife Ramallah Bint-e-Zubair RA was sitting nearby listening everything silently with her head tilted downward. When Khalid Bin Zubair was done saying everything about his brother in-law and yet he was not cooled down by it he addressed his wife and said:
“Why are you silent? Why don’t you say anything in return? Do you agree to my opinion regarding your brother that he is exactly the way I am describing him? Is that the reason for your silence or you are silent because you are offended by it and now you don’t want to answer me?”
Ramallah Bint-e-Zubair replied:
“According to my opinion, none of the two perspectives is a reason for my silence. Actually I think that there is no need for any woman to interfere in men’s matters neither we are born for this. We are designed to serve as fragrant flowers and aromatic plants which are meant for pleasant smell and sight. So what is the point of being intrusive into men’s disputes?”
Khalid Bin Zubair was so glad with his wife’s reply that he rose from his place immediately and kissed his wife’s forehead. All his anger and unpleasant feelings for his brother in-law evaporated.
This is the reason due to which while making decisions Hazrat Suleiman Bin Dawood (AS) used to say;
“Wise women has the power to turn a desert into a happy home and foolish women can turn a happy home into a desert.”
One must analyze Hazrat Ramallah Bint-e-Zubair RA’s wisdom over handling the situation. Had she argued with her husband and defended her brother like an insensible woman, it would have acted as fuel for the existing flames and would have resulted in the extension of the quarrel. But this wise lady said few pleasant words which not only melted her husband’s heart but also saved her brother’s honor. She took the most appropriate step which not only resolved the dispute but ensured protection of her honor, her married life, her brother’s honor and her husband’s love for her.
Here lies the most important lesson for all Muslim women, who must learn to handle delicate situations with the wisdom of choosing the right words and sensible behaviors. May all Muslim women enlighten their path by following the upright role models from our ancestors. This will definitely assist them in making their homes a place of pleasure, a land of contentment and a reflection of paradise.
Don’t forget to read this topic, to know Value of a Husband
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May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!
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Mr Mohammed Rabi ur comment here just reveal d state of ur intelligence and Mentality. Thats so bad and disappointing I pity d kind of woman u marry or u will marry and d Kind of family u will raise..
Men have to be more responsible in structure their home n family.bcoz they r given a degree of responsibility than women as Allah swt says in Quran
Poor women! You must refrain from being human – instead be as a fragrant plant or flower. Men, we can say what we want with impunity. We aren’t responsible for our own insecurities or anger. As men, we can release our stress by humiliating our wives in front of others. It is up to women to take our affronts and gently massage our egos. How fortunate it is to be a man!
Very well written and a much needed piece of advice for the couples who fight over these issues