Dealing with issues after marriage in the light of Islam
It is sad to see how marriages these days are falling apart and couples are ending up getting divorced, that too on the basis of minor family issues. The society has become so ignorant that rarely anyone cares about the terrible consequences of separation and its psychological impact on children. Islam, as a religion of peace, has guided us with many ways to save a failing relationship and every husband and wife who is sincere to each other should adapt their lifestyle in a way suggested by Allah. If Allah wills, you would never face a problem of marital distress and those who are already on the verge of separation, reconciliation would be a matter of minutes.
MARRIAGE IN THE EYES OF ALLAH
Marriage is the most sacred relationship between a man and woman that provides inner peace and tranquility if lived according to the commandments of Allah and directions of His Prophet PBUH. Husband are wife are the ultimate soul mates that make a home complete and find pleasure in each other’s company and this is exactly the purpose of marriage in Islam. The disappointment kicks in when this relationship is established on the grounds of deception, tyranny, humiliation and trickery. Our Lord has given immense significance to marriage and described this relationship in Holy Quran via these words,
“. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . ” (Holy Quran 30:21)
Thus one should think deeply about the culture, ambition, personality and morals of the person he’s going to marry. Islam has given each individual the right to choose the best partner for him and investigating everything carefully before marriage is one of the ways to lead a happy marital life.
DISPUTES BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE
It might sound a little oxymoronic but staying happy in a marriage while following the Islamic principles of matrimony is absolutely achievable. A little compromise can go a long way in saving a relation and we bring to you the following steps to bring out the best in your relationship. Obviously there exists no couple that doesn’t have differences, but overcoming these differences is the fundamental rule of avoiding disputes. Marriage is an incredible blessing from Allah Almighty and a divine sign of His existence. To exude deep love in a relationship and avoid unnecessary disagreement, we bring to you a guide in the light of Islam.
SHOW UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Controversies are absolutely a normal part of any relationship but no matter how big the fight is, one should never lose love and respect for his/her partner. Maintain the same level of care even in the hardest of situations and you’ll notice how the anger fades away in no time.
“Nothing is placed on the scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of fasting and prayer.” (Tirmidhi)
FOLLOW THE RIGHT PATH TOGETHER
Muslim spouses who are committed to each other and to their Creator make every effort to help their partner get closer to Allah. In every dispute, even if one of the partners realizes that their negligence can lower them in the sight of Allah, matters would never go out of hand and one or the other would immediately make an effort to apologize. Always try to engage in winning Allah’s pleasure together as a unit so that you may be granted happiness not only in this world but also hereafter.
BE GRATEFUL TO EACH OTHER
Your partner is an irreplaceable source of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical comfort to you. Whether times are good or bad, always stay grateful to Allah for each other’s companionship. Feeling appreciated by your partner is the fundamental need of every relationship so just two words of praise or a simple ‘Thank you’ spoken in hard times can go a long way in rectifying the situation. Live your life according to the following saying and you’ll find your marital life blooming with happiness.
“. . . If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.” (Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7)
Make your home a delectable heaven for your wife
NEVER STOP COMMUNICATING
Never let your enthusiasm fade away after marriage. Keep it as alive as it was during the early days when phone calls didn’t use to end before hours. And above all, communication is the best way to let the other person know about your thoughts and complains. Keeping it buried inside would further give rise to feelings of anguish and hatred. So make a habit to share your worries with your partner and listen to theirs to enhance the mutual feelings of love and understanding. It is the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad PBUH to joke, flirt, laugh and compliment his wives which keeps a relationship alive with joy.
MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER
About half of the matrimonial issues can be solved if both the partners give undivided attention to the other for some part of the day. There’s no excuse for neglecting your spouse and putting him second to your job, kids and other activities of life. Marriage is a relationship that needs exclusive attention every day. Sitting alone for a few minutes with your spouse can give rise to feelings of love and care which plays significant role in building up a strong relationship. Prophet Muhammad PBUH once stated,
“Marriage is the basis for blessings and children are an abundance of mercy.”
DO NOT LET THE DIFFERENCES OVERCOME YOUR LOVE
Your spouse is a completely different person with his own set of thoughts and opinions. The success of a marriage lies in respecting each other’s opinions and giving them the desired attention. Make an effort to compromise at some instances to ensure a healthy relationship that can bloom well.
The unappreciated sacrifices of a wife
KEEP YOUR TONE POLITE
No matter how bad the fight is, maintaining the tone of your voice is very importance to avoid aggravating the argument. Remember that Allah is the sole observer of every action and a little patience in time of distress can bless you with great rewards. Do not shout or blame your spouse for any fault in the heat of the moment because time would pass away but the wounds imposed by your words would take an eternity to heal. The Prophet PBUH once said:
“I guarantee a house in Jannat for one who gives up arguing even if he is in the right.” (Abu Dawud)
MARRIAGE IN A NUTSHELL
Marital happiness is not an unattainable goal. It can be simply achieved by giving your spouse the attention that he deserves and to remain cool in times of distress. The key to a healthy marriage is to stay quiet when one partner is angry. Arguing back would further flare up the dispute that can spoil the peace of your happily married life. Holy Quran describes this relationship in such beautiful words,
“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.” (Surah 2, Verse 187)