Avoid Excessive & Irrelevant Questioning with Spouse
In this article, we want to divert your attention towards an important issue that causes disputes among the twosome. In some families, the reason for extended ill-feeling between the couple and its continuation is husband’s irrelevant interference in personal or family issues of the wife, which only she can handle as it should be. Husband’s pointless intervention and questioning with why, what, how, where and when sentences, are quite troublesome for the lady and being fed-up from them she becomes foul-mouthed and use indecent language. The reason for that is the irritation that is caused by these irrelevant inquiries by husband.
It is surprising, why these men do not take into account that they themselves have to work in a comfortable environment in offices and in spite of being at home their women have to perform the succeeding tasks:
- She has to work in the hot environment of the kitchen
- Clean the house
- Prepare the meals
- Keep children tidy
- Take care of the toddlers, so they might not hurt themselves
- Deal with the maids
- Checking as the door knocks
- Answering the phone
- Pamper and feed the kids when they come back from school
- Accomplishing any new unexpected task from the husband, that he may ask on phone (e.g. I will return at 4pm and have to go somewhere so please iron clothes for me.)
- And many more, routine and sudden duties
So please consider that how will a woman feels if she is asked what, why, where questions, when she is already over whelmed by above responsibilities and taking care of each child and husband individually.
Joint Family Issues:
If you are living in a joint family with mother and sisters, then you wife may have to face some argument with them as well and still continue to perform all her jobs with a heavy heart.
- Bearing the orders of mother-in-law that you should not express any aggression and must look calm.
- Investigation from the sister-in-law that why has your wife dressed up before you came back from office? Are you people planning for a dinner, about which you have already informed your partner on phone?
- Likewise, she has to tolerate any unpleasant discussion with your brother’s wives as well.
You have to think wisely, considering all aspects, before starting any investigation!!!
Please do not shower on her questions like:
- Why did you not complete this task
- How did it happen
- When will the meal be ready
- What happens to the child
She has already been enduring many things and then expecting that when her real comforter and consoler will arrive, he will show some sympathy that may heal her and takes her worries away!
In the below discussion we will share some consequences of your 4Ws and 1H inquiries!!!
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A Patient Wife – Bears All Within Herself
If your wife is a humble and tolerant person she will neither say anything to anyone nor will show any expression of anger, but she will bears it all to her and will beseech to the Great Lord to listen to her. Her one helpless glance with tears rolling down her cheek is enough to bring you in anxiety and challenges.
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Scolding the Kids in Frustration
After reaching her limit of tolerance, she may not complain anything to you because of respect, or she knows it is useless to cry in front of you, but she will took out her frustration on kids and will scold them harshly or even beat them!
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An intolerant Wife – Uses Foul-language
If your wife is impatient or lack forbearance, or something is genuinely difficult to swallow, then she may start to answer you back. And you will complain of her ill-tong. If you still do not admit your fault and your family continues to defend you then situation may become worse and reach divorce. Resultantly, a happy family will be shattered.
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Discuss Your Flaws With Her Parents
When she would not find you compassionate, then she needs someone in front of whom she can open her heart. Therefore, she will often go to her parents’ home to open up the complaint box she is carrying within against you. Will also discuss it with her friends and as a result your reputation will be smashed and people will make fun of you.
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Effect on Children
Parents’ everyday fight will affect the health and mood of children adversely and their personality will be deformed. Either they will feel deprived or will turn out to be criminal minded. Instead of becoming a healthy citizen they will be ulcers of the society, and will destroy their both worlds.
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Practice Sorcery and Use Amulets
Your excessive questioning will have another dangerous outcome! In her aggravation, and in search of tranquility of home, husband’s love and to get rid of disputes with in-laws, she might hunt for some wizards, sorcerer, or astrologers. Acting upon their advice and using amulets, that foolish woman will not only ruin her world but God forbidden, if she dies practicing sorcery and do not repent on Shirk, then she might be in difficulty in the hereafter. And how will those people be forgiven who are responsible to bring her to this condition.
Therefore, my respected brother, a husband to a Muslim woman, for God’s sake you should have mercy not only on yourself but to your upcoming generation as well. Cool mindedly think over that the technique to avoid all of these aftermaths is in your hand, which is; to change your inquiring attitude.
- Avoid frequent and habitual why and where
- Do not tease the lady, already exhausted because of household chores
- Do not distant her from yourself
- She has left her home and come here just for you, you should abide yourself from building a wall of hatred between you and her because of your irritating attitude
Hence, for God’s sake, practice our above mentioned requests and observe their positive outcomes!
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May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!
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