10 Tips for a Happy Muslim Marriage

 

Marriage is the most sacred relationship. We all at some point in life make a promise we need to fulfil throughout our life. It is a natural human impulse to want to share our life with someone special and create a family. The accuracy is that the bail bond between a husband and wife in Islam is something that needs to be made better and cultivated with equal exploit from both sides.

Both the partners need to put maximum effort in their relationship and work hard each day to make it a better one. It is actually much more then calling someone a husband or a wife. It is a beautiful bond which strengthens each day.

Allah SWT says in Quran:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought?”
[Quran: Chapter 30, Verse 21]

 

Here are a few tips to make the relationship between a husband and the wife the most valuable and long lasting relationship.

1.     ACCEPT YOUR SPOUSE BY HEART

 

The sole purpose of the Marriage is for two people to enter a life TOGETHER. When you accept a person at the time of the wedding, you make a promise to accept the person completely. Allah has made this relationship the purest of all. There must not be any pretentious feelings once you enter this relationship.  Every relationship is a whole-hearted commitment to support and to protect others in a group or community.

Both the husband and wife play a very important part in this strong web of human relationship of giving support to each other. Marriage provides a cornerstone for the development of healthy culture, a happy association of two individuals to be nurtured and to be free from loneliness, loss and fear. If two people can share pain and pleasure in their everyday life, they can make each other happy and minimize their sadness. They may come across a lot of painful and horrible experiences with each day.

For all this one must accept the person whole heartedly so that there are no hidings and everything gets crystal clear.

2. AVOID COMMUNICATION GAP

 

For any relationship to work, one thing that must be avoided is the communication gap between two people. Once you get married, you have to get through every thick and thin together. In order to make that work, it is very important for the husband and the wife to communicate like best friends.

After getting in a busy routine or after having children it gets really hard for the both to make time for each other. Don’t be that couple. It’s the key element to take out time after a tough day to talk to each other and express everything. Take out a small portion of the day which takes pure communication and keep it regular.

3. BRING POSITIVITY TO THE RELATIONSHIP

 

According to a Hadith Prophet Muhammad ﷺ says.

 

“The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.”

 

It is very essential to make the relationship as positive as possible. Love and marriage thrive under positive action. Try to bring positivity in every matter of life weather it takes a lot of effort to do so. Don’t stress out and get the frustration to each other. If one loses it, it’s obligatory for the other one to keep it to its finest. It will bring hardships but remember that every cloud has a silver lining.

 

4. SHOW KIND GESTURES

 

Kindness is the key to every single relation. It is the foremost element whose presence blossoms the love for each other.

According to an Ayat Allah SWT says

“…And live with them in kindness…”

 (Quran 4:19)

 

 

It is through this synergy and language of give and take that strong marriage is built upon. Give and receive gifts. Be as kind to each other as you can. Help each other in each other’s matters. Be a blessing for your spouse.

 

5. PROTECT EACH OTHER.

 

Allah SWT has made it clear through different verses how both the husband and the wife are supposed to protect each other.

 

“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.”

(Surah 2, Verse 187)

What this essentially means, is that each marriage partner has the responsibility to protect the other’s honor. Sometimes emotionally protecting your spouse is as important as giving physical protection. The partnership of marriage is such that when something or someone hurts or bothers the husband, it should also bother the wife and vice versa as his marital partner.

 

6. DO THE GOOD DEEDS, TOGETHER

 

Allah SWT has made us in the form of pairs. It’s the duty of one human being to guide the right path to the fellow human being if one forgets the right path.

As a couple the first responsibility of a spouse is to keep the love for Allah SWT alive in the heart of the fellow spouse. It’s important for both of them to ask each other to pray together, perform the Holy obligations such as Hajj and pay Zakat. Both of them are supposed to keep each other aware of the bad deeds they do and show the right path. It’s essential to remember the basic duties as a Muslim and help each other fulfil them.

According to a Hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah When the Prophet (peace be upon him) congratulated a man on his marriage, he said:

“May Allah bless for you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in good (works).”

Book 11 Hadith 2125

From this narration of hadith, it is evident that each partner needs to take responsibility for the attitude and the actions that they bring to the table in married life.

 

7. FIGHT OFF EGO AND EVIL EYE

 

Ego is the biggest of all evil. As a human we are functioned in a way where fighting our own ego is the most hard thing. It’s the duty of both the partners to keep the ego away and make room for forgiveness.

No one in the entire world is perfect except Allah SWT. Its important to accept each other’s lacking and help each other grow.

According to an Ayat

 

“… Verily, the (human) self is inclined to evil, except when my Lord bestows His Mercy (upon whom He wills). Verily, my Lord is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Qur’an: Chapter 12, Verse 53

 

8. FULFILL EACH OTHER’S NEEDS

 

Needs can be either material or abstract. The basic needs a marriage has, are survival needs, safety needs, sexual needs, love needs, esteem needs and domestic needs.

You have to find out which needs are the ones to be fulfilled primarily. Love is the most important need of your spouse. Either a husband or a wife, love leads its way through all the problems.

Another important need is the support of your spouse. You need to be on each other’s side and be their support system.

If our physical needs don’t get met, we can literally die. In the realm of our emotional needs, we may not die if they are not fulfilled, but we are open to being deeply wounded and to feeling tremendous pain or sadness.

So every need is important to be fulfilled.

 

9. GIVE EACH OTHER RESPECT

 

The most important thing to be developed is real love and respect for the mutual responsibilities. Where respect falls in the hierarchy of needs and desires may differ somewhat between men and women, but it’s a vital need for both genders.

 Don’t wait for your spouse to always initiate conversation. Seek out ways and times when you can ask for their input on what you are working on, struggling with or interested in.

As a wife, you may feel as though your husband should earn your respect before you offer it. As a husband, you may not realize how much the degree to which you show respect to your wife causes her spirit to either shrivel and die—or thrive and grow.

 

10. ALLOW YOUR SPOUSE TO BE THEMSELVES

 

Last but not the least, accept your spouse for who they are. It’s not important for you to change a person according to your own selves. Every person should have the right to keep his or her own individuality and not change it for anyone.

If you don’t like your wife’s habit of talking too much or the habit of your husband snorting while sleep, don’t force your partner to change themselves.

Be kind and supportive to them and help them change. Don’t force your decisions on each other. Let them decide what they want for their personality and do not wreck it.

Marriage is a partnership of two individuals and this partnership is enriched and enhanced when it allows the personalities involved to grow. Many marriages fail because one partner tries to “swallow” another or when one demands total freedom. A feeling of security and contentment comes from mutual understanding which is the SECRET of a HAPPY MARRIED LIFE.

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May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!

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