Do Not Consider Your Wife Your Student
Humans are given an attribute by Allah, that in every age, they are in need of a person whom they love and being loved as well. Mother slaps her child with love, stretch his cheeks, small child pulls his father’s beard harshly, wrench his mother’s ear rings or hair, but neither the mother takes any offence nor the father nor the child. This is a proof that troubles given by a beloved, no matter how adverse, never sounds bad. And all the learned persons of the world agree that the position a wife holds in admiration, can be achieved by none other. Therefore, we request, you to love your wives wholeheartedly and truly. Have faith that this will not take you away from Allah.
Your Marriage needs “oiling”
Who else is more beloved to Allah than Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, but it is evident from the Prophet’s ﷺ life that how much He loved his pious wives (R.A). So, it comes in Ahadees that Prophet ﷺ said, that,
I like three things in the world, Namaz, Perfume and women (his wives).
(Kinzul Eeman, Vol. 7, Page 117, Raqam 18909).
This tells, that, to love your wife is Holy Prophet’s ﷺ Sunnah. Let us make this Sunnah alive; for this, some psychological tricks may prove fruitful, which are being set by the psychologists. We have already written some of these techniques in different essays of this book, here, we will share a principal in this regard. Hope you will act upon it.
Wives should be praised
Some husbands have the habit of elucidating their partners whenever they find any fault in them. This is right to some extent, but it is not good to make it a habit, because you are husband to your wife as well not only a reformer who started correcting as a teacher, as soon as he observes any flaw; because most wives get irritated and this weakens their mutual relation of husband and wife and turns into student and teacher, which is not appropriate in any aspect.
ETIQUETTE OF WELCOMING A HUSBAND
In the same sense, some wives, if corrected repeatedly, no matter with love feel real boredom when they fail in their attempt to gain your attention by a mistake they made consciously or sulked so that you pamper them but instead they just get some dry piece of advice. This attitude makes them think that either you are a fool who do not understand their feelings or you do not simply love them!
- Therefore, change your pattern of thinking before such a time comes. Coddle them at times when they get offended, entertain them with kind words, make them laugh and above all be a man who understands his wife’s moods and nature; what do they want at what time.
- Do not get angry if at one time she denies everything you say or advise, and do not think that I am counseling with love and she is answering back foolishly.
- Instead, try to realize her requirement for that time, read her heart looking through her eyes.
- Whether she want you to give up today in front of her, or she seeks your special attention after a mistake and wants you to ignore her fault. Or she is just trying to make some mischief with you, etc.
In our view, you will be the most successful husband if you learn to read your wife’s temperament and to treat her accordingly.
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